Is it the same as once was?
After years of having a wonderful relationship, do you really feel its as good as it can be? Is it same as it once was? There is mounting research showing ways that can certainly improve any relationship at any given stage. Healthy couples as well as those with minor issues can look at these tips as a way to stay on track and compare the notes as your relationship soars into the future.
AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Everyone wants to feel as though they make a difference in their partner’s life and that they are special. Be sure to take the time each day to thank your sweetheart for the little things she does that matter. It doesn’t hurt to throw in some genuine praise as well. It helps remind her that you are still in love with her.
UNITED WE STAND
Studies have shown that couples who cannot agree on common goals for their lives usually don’t last. It is hard to stay together when you are pulling in opposite directions. Sit down with your partner and determine things you both would like to achieve and make it a joint project.
LITTLE THINGS MEAN MORE
Listening to her when she’s down, a kiss good-bye, doing the laundry without being asked to; these little things may seem insignificant but believe it or not they aren’t. They help to bring a couple closer over time, strengthening the bond between them.
BOTH "WEAR PANTS"
No woman wants to feel like her man is her boss , and vice versa. Research by Gottman, indicates that men who insist on being the “alpha male” will find the relationship ending 81% of the time. Compromise is essential, with both partners having an equal say in things.
FRIENDS AND LOVERS
The saying “couples who play together, stay together” is true. Partners who have mutual activities they enjoy together have an overall stronger relationship. Creating meaningful experiences, spending quality time away from stress, children and work is of a paramount importance in any relationship. Schedule your dates weeks ahead and treat them with same urgency and readiness as you treat your professional appointments.
Sue Johnson, theorizes that anger is really a cry for help. Couples need to analyze their arguments instead of take them at face value. If they can identify and address the emotions behind the anger, they will be better able to meet each other’s needs.
SEE THE GLASS HALF-FULL
Pessimism can harm a relationship, it has been proven. Research by Robinson and Price suggests that couples who are not happy, tend to downplay the positive aspects of their relationships by 50%. This is a destructive way of thinking. Couples need to learn to focus on the positives more and cut their partner some slack as well.
AGREE TO DISAGREE
Many couples find themselves having the same arguments repeatedly. These “hot potatoes” need special handling tactics; and require both parties to hear each other out and draw a line in the sand, realizing that they may never be able to see eye to eye.
COME UP WITH A PLAN OF ATTACK
Most small points of disagreement can be resolved. If both partners put their heads together, they should be able to devise a strategy to solve areas of stress in the relationship.
AVOID NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR
When couples clash, quite often one will become hostile and controlling and the other one will simply pull away from his or her partner. This is called a demand/withdraw pattern and it is not healthy behavior. Both partners need to realize what is going on and discuss the situation rationally after they have both cooled off.