Shot yourself in the foot?
Some guys in the dating circuit make a game breaking hearts. Sadly, these fellows give the good guys in committed relationships a bad name and make it difficult for them to recover from minor relationship blunders. Anyone can make a mistake, and by following these five tips for repairing a relationship blunder, well-meaning men have a chance at getting the forgiveness they deserve.
What some well-meaning men don’t realize is that an apology followed by a disclaimer is not an apology at all. While it sounds remorseful to say, “I’m sorry”, following this statement with the word “but” makes your sentiment become little more than an excuse. Take responsibility for mistakes, keep an eye contact, admit fault and vow to make amends. She’ll appreciate your honesty, sincerity and vulnerability. Be on the same page.
For example: "Its my fault. I take responsibility. I have overreacted and I am sincerely sorry. I know your feelings got hurt, and I will do everything in my power to stop this from happening again."
TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES LIKE A MAN
Surely, if you’ve made a relationship blunder serious enough to warrant an apology, you’ll have to face the music. She may forgive you for your wrongdoings and continue to adore you, but give her time to process the negative feelings that you have caused her. Accept this, and be willing to do whatever she needs for you to rectify your mistake. Better yet, make suggestions yourself and strive to uphold each promise.
Apologies and willingness to face consequences are just the first hurdles to overcome in repairing a relationship blunder. The good news is, that when you truly care for someone, the rest isn’t too bad. Figure out a way to prevent future screw-ups and change your old ways. Share your ideas to let her know you care enough to work hard at being better. Forgetting anniversaries? Set up important date reminders, so you never miss it again. Stick to the plan and make a point to show your progress.
If you’re genuinely an honest, caring, respectful gentleman, your relationship blunder is likely just that: a one-time only mistake. A one-time-only mistake. Gently reminding her of your typically good character encourages her to give you the benefit of the doubt. If you haven’t previously shown a pattern of poor behavior, your track record proves that you’d never intentionally hurt her.
Focus on the good times, bring positive emotions back into your relationship. Re-enact some of the past dates you both cherish, write hand-written poems to stir up loving memories and know how to romance, let the positive experiences overwrite the pain. This relationship is too precious not to.
NO FAULT, APOLOGY
Ironically, one of the most common relationship mistakes is apologizing too much. Though saying you’re sorry and making amends can quickly end a lover’s quarrel and bring peace to the relationship, doing so when you’re clearly not at fault can turn you into a whipping boy. The willingness to apologize when you are wrong gives you justification to stand up for yourself when you are right.
Finally, realize that you can feel closer after a fight. Arguing sucks but often conflicts end up making your relationship stronger. Make up by having sex.