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The Best Kept Secret of a Successful Marriage

by on Jan 29, 2013

Ask Yourself: Is it really up to me?

If you are happily single, chances are you will soon also find yourself happily married. However, if you are an unhappy single, seeking a relationship in hopes of finding someone else who can make you happy, the odds are you won’t be happy in a relationship, either.

When marriages end, hindsight truly is 20/20. Most divorced people can tell you exactly where it all went wrong, and they can probably pinpoint the moment before they actually got married. A friend of mine recalls, “I got married in my mid-twenties, and it was a ticking time-bomb from the beginning. I was looking for someone to bring me happiness. I realized I am responsible for my own happiness and fulfillment. Only when I achieved that could I be happy and fulfilled in a relationship. Even the right man couldn’t make me feel right inside.”

The Best Kept Secret of a Happy Marriage

Other divorced people can also tell you stories of how they knew they shouldn’t have gotten married because it didn’t feel right, or they knew the other person was all wrong for them. In pursuit of happiness, they overlook those gut instincts because they desperately cling to the idea that someone else holds the key to their happiness. You need to ask yourself 15 important relationship questions to really understand if someone is right for you.

Achieving life long happiness in a marriage means finding happiness within. One of the best ways to be happy is to explore life alone and being content with what you have right now. Instead of trying to find happiness outside of yourself hoping someone else will fulfill all of your needs, try looking inward and upward. Emotionally and spiritually healthy, happy people have much more successful marriages than those who are not. In addition, understand the common secrets your partner won't tell you about.

A Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study done by Richard Lucas of Michigan State University discovered, “Most people who get married and stay married were more satisfied with their lives than their non-married peers long before the marriage occurred.” Instead of trying to find someone who will make you happy, be happy with who you are, where you are and what you have. Marriage doesn’t solve problems; in fact, marriage can make all of your problems much worse when you suddenly realize someone else has not succeeded at making you happy. It's essential for both of your happiness to understand the 6 things a happy marriage can't live without.

The simple strategy of a successful marriage lies within yourself. You hold the key to your own happiness.

Check out The Couple's Guide on How to Romance Each Other