Easier to Replace Than Fix?
Between juggling kids, work, social obligations and chores we run into the wall with no energy left for intimacy with our significant other. Overtime this pattern means that two-thirds of all first marriages are likely to end in separation or divorce. But is this the real reason? Perhaps there is another underlying set of issues invisible to an untrained eye.
Chicago based relationship expert, Dr. Sara Schwarzbaum, founder of Couples Counseling Associates has committed her professional life to helping couples identify and deal with relationship issues. As a guest relationship expert, she agreed to discuss an important topic of Top Relationship Issues Couples Face Today. In this article we’ll discuss both points of view and the remedies you need to know about.
COUPLES’ POINT OF VIEW
One of the relationship problems couples face today is communication and conflict resolution. “I help couples understand what they are communicating about, are they communicating well, how are they resolving conflicts associated with children, sex and money” Dr. Schwarzbaum begins.
According to Dr. Schwarzbaum, learning how to “identify when you are using any of the four behaviors that make up the four horsemen” is critical. Why marriages succeed or fail by Dr. John Gottman, a University of Washington researcher, calls Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Withdrawal the four horseman of the apocalypse.
“For example, when you feel attacked or criticized, you tend to defend yourself, then you criticize more and your partner withdrawals, it’s those patterns of communication when they repeat pervasively over time that kill relationships” Sara adds.
There are steps to overcoming these cycles of conflict: