Are you on the same page?
Most people have found themselves in a relationship at some point that is full of questions; does this person feel the same way I do? Where is this going? Being in the dark about such critical issues is never fun; this guide will show you how to approach your partner with this often sticky discussion.
Donald and Kelly had been dating on and off for about three months after they had met on a blind date. David was captivated by Kelly, and immediately started assuming she was “his”. Little did he know, that it was one-way street. Being in denial, he avoided the touchy subject. One day Kelly announced she was moving in with her fiancé. David was caught off guard. We put together a few essential steps to help you navigate a similar situation effortlessly.
GET TO THE POINT
If your mind is full of burning questions, you need to have a definite game plan to get them answered. Be direct and don’t mince words when asking your partner for a response, just ask them exactly what you want to know. Vague questions can produce vague answers.
THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE
Talking about your relationship on a subway or in at your parents’ house is maybe not the best idea. Privacy as well as time are important factors in choosing an appropriate setting for having this discussion; so ensure that neither of you is hurried and that you do not have an audience.
BE OPEN MINDED
There is no guarantee that the response you get from your partner will be what you want. Be ready to diffuse the situation but withdrawing yourself from it, and revisit it later when the emotions are calm. Keep your ‘cool’ by discussing the other person’s feelings rationally without sounding demanding. Sometimes people just move at different paces.
DON'T INSIST ON CHECK-POINTS
It is not a good idea to keep demanding relationship progress reports from your partner as to your relationship status. This adds stress and pushes the two of you apart. It is very important to discuss and come to terms regarding where you stand. The truth must come out before you can move on.
SLEEP ON IT
Allow your partner some time to mull over what you have just asked them and get back to you when he or she is ready to do so if necessary. Nobody likes being put on the spot and often the response given when under pressure will not be the same as the one given after careful consideration.
Discuss the way you view your relationship in a productive way whether you decide to move forward or not, keeping your emotions in check.